Poor in Spirit
Are we as women scared to be poor in spirit? Does it mean we are not enough? Does it mean we are sad, without joy? Does it mean we do everything out of duty instead of with a servants heart?
It means we are in need of a Savior. We cannot do it on our own. We need Him for everything and we need Him everyday. It means we acknowledge our need for help, deliverance, gladness and all the wisdom and grace to do what He has called us to do. He gives us enough for everyday but are you going to Him each day for what you need?
What is His example...
He sees everyone around Him. Do you ever feel like you are never alone? My days look like multitudes of children and a husband and others all around me.
He went up on a mountain and prepared. He took His time. He took time to think. He didn't rush, He wasn't overwhelmed. And when he was set He called his disciples.
I want to be poor in Spirit and know that I need Christ to supply my every need. I need to go to Him everyday and sometimes every moment to receive His provision. I want to be self-sufficent. I want to be enough for everyone but I have never needed or been asked to be.
God has been showing me in many ways how I will never be enough for myself, others and especially not for God without relying on Jesus. I have let everyone down; everyone that I have ever met. However, that doesn't mean that I am a failure. It just means that I'm not God. I have day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, my whole life tried to be enough and please others and I'm tired and sad and broken hearted; to that I finally find joy.
I see now with the help of God, my husband and brother that its because of an idol in my life. People pleasing, being appreciated, being complimented, and looking good. Why have I strived and strived for all of this from humans and in my human strength? I am never living up to any of this and other are disappointing me, it all is stealing my joy and I'm hurting others in all of this.
So I choose to be poor in Spirit. I choose to go to God for everything, everyday. All needs to be done by His strength and for His glory. I choose to be His hands and feet to accomplish was He has for me to do. Let that be my Joy to depend on Him for everything and let that overflow into every multitude around me.
