Poor in Spirit

Are we as women scared to be poor in spirit?  Does it mean we are not enough?  Does it mean we are sad, without joy?  Does it mean we do everything out of duty instead of with a servants heart?

It means we are in need of a Savior.  We cannot do it on our own.  We need Him for everything and we need Him everyday.  It means we acknowledge our need for help, deliverance, gladness and all the wisdom and grace to do what He has called us to do.  He gives us enough for everyday but are you going to Him each day for what you need?

What is His example...
He sees everyone around Him.  Do you ever feel like you are never alone?  My days look like multitudes of children and a husband and others all around me.
He went up on a mountain and prepared.  He took His time.  He took time to think.  He didn't rush, He wasn't overwhelmed.  And when he was set He called his disciples.

I want to be poor in Spirit and know that I need Christ to supply my every need.  I need to go to Him everyday and sometimes every moment to receive His provision.  I want to be self-sufficent.  I want to be enough for everyone but I have never needed or been asked to be.

God has been showing me in many ways how I will never be enough for myself, others and especially not for God without relying on Jesus.  I have let everyone down; everyone that I have ever met.  However, that doesn't mean that I am a failure.  It just means that I'm not God.  I have day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, my whole life tried to be enough and please others and I'm tired and sad and broken hearted; to that I finally find joy.

I see now with the help of God, my husband and brother that its because of an idol in my life.  People pleasing, being appreciated, being complimented, and looking good.  Why have I strived and strived for all of this from humans and in my human strength?  I am never living up to any of this and other are disappointing me, it all is stealing my joy and I'm hurting others in all of this.

So I choose to be poor in Spirit.  I choose to go to God for everything, everyday.  All needs to be done by His strength and for His glory.  I choose to be His hands and feet to accomplish was He has for me to do.  Let that be my Joy to depend on Him for everything and let that overflow into every multitude around me.

Wartime

We are at battle in the world.  We are called to war.  Now I'm not sure if you feel like you are battling most days but I do.  I feel like I'm battle flesh and blood (the battles that make me tired) and battling spiritually along with God in which He gives me strength for the battles and sometimes battling my own evil desires or willingness to give into temptations.  What weapons do we battle within our fights.
When I battle against flesh and blood; my biggest battle is anger.  Anger from feeling alone, abandoned, insecurity and lack of appreciation.  All of these are based on lies, pride or fear of man.  I can repent, be forgiven and God can take them away or strengthen me to overcome them but often I try to battle them on my own.  I think I can will try not to yell at my children, I can try to not feel abandon when my husband is busy, I can try to feed my need for connection with social media or texting, I can tell myself how good I am at something or ask if something I did was appreciated or done well but none of these things ever satisfy.  I need to dig deep and figure the root of these things so they can be uprooted and destroyed so the good roots have the soil, water and nourishment they need to bear good fruit.
I'm tired of battling against flesh and blood and the lies and temptation of Satan.  We need to rest in Christ and let him battle for us.  He just asks us to trust, and sometimes sing to confuse the enemy and win the battle.  So today I'm going to choose the battle with the Word of God and have a song in my heart and on my lips.  I'm choosing to stay out of war zones, even if I'm just on the line of battle and let the enemies fight among themselves... I'm going rest, maybe cry too but rest in the saving grace of my Lord Jesus Christ.

Proverbs 31 Woman & The Beatitudes

I'm not sure how to begin but know I want this all to point to God.  God has been revealing so much to me lately and I know that it takes me a while to listen.  I know that it begins with a garden... It truly began in a garden.  We are created in the image of God and from the rib of man and as a help mate.  We are to be to be being filled by the Holy Spirit and conformed to the image of Christ.

Choice:  God chose to create...We need to choose.  We need to choose first to listen, repent, restore and seek for righteousness with a pure heart.

God does choose us then we need to choose to follow.  He has this calling on our lives that are to be fulfilled in the way He plans and in the way He guides and strengthens us.

Proverbs 31:16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  

A woman sees good land.  Fertile ground.  I open my eyes and I see my past; all of my family and friends.  They are people that formed and influenced me.  They are pillars in my life; good and bad but part of my foundation for sure.  There is so much of this in my life lately.  I have been a part of birthdays, school year beginnings and endings, change of seasons, weddings, anniversaries, pregnancies, sicknesses, death and life in this past year.  We may be part of all of these things every year but do we really see and participate and cultivate truth and beauty into all these moments?  Do we plant vineyards in these places?

I see this both literally and figuratively.  I want to plant seeds of truth, beauty and goodness (C.S. Lewis)  

I attend many events in the church that I considered home as a child this year that made me see all these people in my life as ground or a garden that needs tending, loving, fertilizing, pruning, cultivating, watering, clipping, arranging and sometimes simply looked at, heard and appreciated for their beauty.

I want to expand on all of the above but in reference to the beatitudes...

Matthew 5:13 You are the salt of the earth...

Salt can add favor but it can also fertilize.  All living things need salt and we are called to be the salt of the Earth.  Am I bring out the good flavor in others?  Am I fertilizing the beauty and growth that God has created other people for?  

Lets start on our journey that God has created us for...

Morning Time Revival...

Our Order
Morning Greeting- "Good morning_____, our family is blessed to have you with us today!"
Doxology
Prayer Memory:
*A Child's Prayer
*The Lord's Prayer
Laying Down the Rails:
*Obedience
Awana
Song:
*Yankee Doodle
Mother Goose Poem:
*"The Mulberry Bush"
Closing Hymn:
*To God Be the Glory

And that about where we need to stop with this new morning organized morning time.

Loop schedule ...
I am going to try loop scheduling with morning time, LA and Science/History/Geography.

Morning Time Loop:
Poems
Missionary Stories
Picture Studies

Math (no loop)
I do alternate Math-U-See videos and Logic lessons to go along with daily lessons.

LA Loop:
Grammar
Spelling
Writing
Copywork
Vocabulary

Science/History/Geography/Art Loop:
Science: Sonlight Reading&Worksheet/Experiments/Nature Studies
History: SOTW/Evan Moor/CHOW
Geography: Little Passports/Evan Moor/Sonlight
Art: Home Art Studio and pinterest

Reading (no loop)
I do a daily lesson but do alternate with AAR, 100 Easy lessons and Sonlight readers

We do Awana at Church, Phy ed and music classes that alternates with composer studies etc at a local Christian private school and plan to do gymnastics through a local community education opportunity.

This is what we do mostly... subject to change.  This may be helpful but more for my records.
Helpful webites that have inspired the organization of these ideas:
www.edsnapshots.com
www.amongstthelovelythings.com

Summer 2014

Oh goodness I haven't blogged anything in forever.  We are onto a new season of life at this point.  We are in our toddler/preschool/school age season… no babies anymore.  One never knows what God as planned but for now we are in a different mode.

We are enjoying the summer but also I feel like we are on the edge of deciding if this new season of life will look a lot different than I ever imagined.   We have been trying to learn and listening to God more closely; to actually follow Him.  It seems like believing is not enough, we have to live it out more fully.  Our dependence on Him is crucial.

Perspective

I suppose this first post should be well thought out.  And I guess it is, in a way, but it also is a way of processing things for me.  I need start fresh.  I need to take into account my heart's view of everything in life.  I have a view of everything through a lens that is filtered through my past.  Good and bad, pretty and ugly, right and wrong.  Sometimes (lately a lot of the time) this gets me into the wrong mind set and I want to explore my past, enjoy my present and hope from my future by realizing my whole prespective is completely different from everyone elses but I can make or break each moment if I'm not aware and intentional.

I want this to be a place to process, share and enjoy life.  My other blog is fine because it documents moments from our life but I want to leave it behind and share things in a different way, in a hopeful and intentional way.  I want to share things and bring understanding, if for even just for myself and family.  I do hope to gain perspective and thought from others and do life together.  So journey with me please.